PAPER #1: SECOND PEER REVIEW

Find a different partner than your first peer reviewer and exchange papers. Write "read by" and your name at the top of your partner's paper. Please mark any errors, underdeveloped paragraphs, poor transitions, especially effective details and phrases, and areas that seem to be out of order or simply confusing. Then write a note that addresses the following questions. Your response should be at least 3/4 of a page and should be a note, not a list of questions and answers.

Questions:

1. First, act like a mirror to your partner's paper by summarizing in your own words what you think the author was like before this incident took place, what the incident actually was, and what the long-term impact was of the change.

2. Does the opening paragraph set up a specific focus on the topic or the paper, or is a generic retelling of the essay topic that "school changes us" or "events shape us into the person we are today"? If it's specific, restate the topic as best you can. If it's not, suggest a more focused idea to be included in the introduction and what generic elements can be cut.

3. While a five-paragraph essay is acceptable, most of the papers Dr. Halbert saw in conference could actually be six, seven, or more paragraph essays. Comment on any paragraphs that seem like they could be broken up into smaller paragraphs and then developed. Also note if some paragraphs seem too short and might need either development or to be combined with another.

4. What section offers the best combination of detail and analysis? Identify that section and explain why it works. What section is the least effective? Why?

5. Review the conclusion and indicate if the exact nature of the change is clear. Does the author only emphasize that he or she experienced a change (that will last forever!), or is the change itself and its impact clear? If so, what is it? If not, what could they say to make the paper more effective?